Fear of "society", or Fear of "deception"

    When loneliness starts bothering seniors who live alone after crossing the age of fifty, they start feeling the need for a partner. Because even friends and family have their limitations. And therefore, there is nothing wrong with feeling that someone special should be in our lives.

    The 50-65 age group seems to be in a state of mental confusion due to the constant news about remarriage or live-in relationships and fraud of senior citizens.

Some questions that confuse senior citizens in India : 

Question 1: Is it right to decide to remarry or live in a relationship at this age?

Answer: Yes, if you are single, then this is the right age to take this decision. Because after the age of 70, the chances of getting a partner become less. And in the real sense, then we need someone to touch our person. If we don't take this decision now, it will be too late

Question 2: What will happen to our property?

Answer: The decision of what to do with your property is entirely yours. You can make an agreement accordingly. And it will be your responsibility to give something to the person who is going to be your support.

Question 3: Will we be cheated?

Answer: " Cheating can only happen when we give someone a chance to cheat."

One thing I feel is lacking in seniors is that they have a lot of self-confidence. They feel that we have come this far in life. Now we can take our decisions. And now at this age, it is impossible for us to make mistakes in our decisions. Because of this overconfidence, they do not share anything with someone . like What are we doing? or Who are we meeting?

They do not feel the need to tell this to their family or friends. And this is where the cheating begins.

Precautions to be taken to avoid cheating:

1. If you are thinking of living in or remarrying, first tell this at home.

2. If you are dating someone, meet their family members.

3. Do not do financial transactions without the advice of an institution or a close person.

4. Do not hide anything.,

5. Be friends with that person for some time before taking a decision. But not just for enjoyment, but also to "get to know the character" of that person.

6. Do not proceed without a pre-marital / live-in agreement.

Question 4: Will the natures match? Will there be someone like me?

Answer: Just as we cannot change our nature as we grow older. Similarly, the person in front of us will also not be able to change much in himself at this age. Keep this in mind. Can we tolerate his/her habits at this age? Think about this. Just as we have struggled in life, the other person has also done it. And their nature did not harm them. So there is no question of saying that person is wrong or right. Now just ask yourself this question: "Can we accept that person as he/she is?"

Question 5: I don't want to live in or remarry, I just want friends. Will I get it?

Answer: Yes, I will definitely get it, but keep in mind that it will only be friends. The loneliness in your home will not go away with this relationship. Because there is a thin line between friendship and love or marriage, which shows the difference between these relationships when the time comes. Even though these relationships seem similar, they have some limitations. "Do we tell people under 40 like this? That children, don't get married, stay as friends." We don't say this because we know exactly what a "partner" means. Similarly, saying that you don't want a partner at the age of 50-65, but only want friends is equally wrong. Don't make decisions based on the present moment. Recognize the thin line between friendship, love and marriage. Understand the limitations of relationships. And don't let this right age pass you by. Because loneliness after seventy is more troublesome.

Question 6: What will people say?

Answer: People don't say anything. All are games of our fertile mind. No one has time to sit around you 24 hours a day and discuss about you. The same thoughts we think come to us in the form of pictures. So think positively. You yourself said that only when I make a mistake do people call it a mistake. There are many examples in society that big mistakes have been accepted by their society without being accepted. Then you are not making a mistake. If you think about your future, then live-in and remarriage are also the needs of your life and you should fulfill them in the right way.

When you are alone at home, sick and mentally exhausted, then people just say "Oh ...." nothing more than this. And they don't even come to help you.. In places like cities, elderly people die in their homes and no one even knows for 2-3 days. So, think about whether you should listen to people who say, "Oh no...." or your own mind and future.........?

I am often asked these questions by people who come to my office for inquiries about live-in and remarriage, and so I felt like writing a little about this today. I just want to tell all the seniors that, "Only the body gets tired with age, the mind never gets tired. The mind is always young. For example, Dev Anand made this movie after the age of 90. "Age is just a number" So after having so much experience in life, if you are wasting your life by getting stuck in unnecessary questions without any reason and staying alone, then think on time. Quickly take the right decision for you and be free from the trap of thoughts. Do not impose expectations on anyone and do not expect anything from anyone. Just as you used to live in the present as a child (before the age of 10), now also start living in the present without any thought. See how happy your life will become..

Best wishes for your future life and hope you have found answers to your questions from this article...

Thank you

Hemlata Yadav-Kadam